I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
