Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
