Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
