i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
