when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
