We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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