he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
