We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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