i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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