you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We need to get me chipped asap
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
