I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
