Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize