Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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