hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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