I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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