I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
