i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
