i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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