but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
