You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
