sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
