I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i came on her dog
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
