Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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