my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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