He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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