Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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