Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
