everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize