He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
