Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
