Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
