I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
