u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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