I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
