Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it because I queefed?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
