ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
