I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just cut my nipple shaving
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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