make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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