Will you blow on my dice?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
