I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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