Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
