Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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