When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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