I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize