Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
