Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
