She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
