We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
