With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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