Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
