well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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