I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
