I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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