I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
