Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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