You're my little dorito
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
