toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
