I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
