Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
