is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
nutella sex= disaster
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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