Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
