rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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