So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
When did angry sex become our thing?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
