he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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