i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
