then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
