Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
